Hello beloved James Donald Forbes McCann fan,
Here is a new video of me doing stand up comedy.
Best,
James Donald Forbes McCann
Much has happened, continues to happen, and, indeed, is happening tonight.
Last week I arrived back from the far north of our great country, having gigged in around Queensland in Cairns, Port Douglas, and Brisbane. What a glorious place Queensland is, and what tremendous, unaffected people live there.
In Cairns, I was fortunate enough that the room runner Peter had a few cameras to record the show. Below is some new stand up from yours truly. Topics include: David Bowie having sex with teenagers, the song Under Pressure, Jake the sound guy breaking something, hitting children, working in a call centre, and low quality whites.
Tonight, in Adelaide, I’l be performing and recording some new comedy for your viewing pleasure. Tickets are available here, flanked with one of the worst photos of me in existence. Inspired by that photo and the wretched visage it conveys, tonight I’ll be performing en cravat.
On Saturday, May 15, I’ll be performing my lecture/manifesto/comedy show ‘Aussie & Proud’ in Melbourne. It’ll be the first time I’ve returned to that city since fleeing the dreaded plague and abandoning my apartment last year. If you live in Melbourne, or know somebody who does, you can fetch tickets here for my triumphant return.
More gigs are scheduled, and you can read all about them over at the comedy page on my website. Other gigs, scheduled but not yet confirmed, will be added soon.
All my love,
James Donald Forbes McCann
Here, for your pleasure and benefit, is the best show at the MICF for 2021. Oh, the Melbourne International Comedy Festival? No, not that MICF. We’re talking about the McCann International Comedy Festival. It’s a comedy festival, it’s McCann, and technically you can watch it no matter where you are in the world, so it’s sort of international.
Here’s a FULL HOUR or THERE ABOUTS of James Donald Forbes McCann doing stand up comedy, all written and recorded over the last year.
You can’t see it at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, because, James Donald Forbes McCann is not in Melbourne, as the following stand up comedy clips make perfectly clear.
But you can watch it in Melbourne, because that is not yet illegal.
Just before the South Australian border closed, I packed my family into the car and fled Victoria. We spent two weeks in isolation, confirmed that we didn't ...
Just before the South Australian border closed, I packed my family into the car and fled Victoria. We spent two weeks in isolation, confirmed that we didn't have the wu flu, and then I went straight on stage.
This was the first time I'd done comedy in about four months. The set was 40 minutes long, but I've cut it down to the least bad 12 minutes.
Usually in comedy you work on material for a good long while before recording it and releasing it for the world to see (in my case, potentially 500 views). But who knows if I'll ever get the chance to get these jokes right? Adelaide is a few errant sneezes away from going the way of Melbourne. And then maybe stand up comedy just won't come back. This might be my last ever gig. That might be an overreaction, but who knows?
So, here you go. Brand new material, burnt immediately, never to be seen again, except on the internet for all time. I reckon that low fi videos on YouTube will survive the virus, even if live performance doesn't. The boiler suit was just something I saw at an op shop the day of the show. It was pretty comfortable.
Peace and love,
J
Here’s a video from a few weeks ago that I hadn’t posted to this website, because I never post anything to this website, because I’m not all that committed to furthering my personal brand.
But the important thing is that this is a video about taking care of a maidenhair fern. And taking care of a maidenhair fern takes precedence over my own sluggishness and cowardliness and lack of aptitude for growing the James Donald Forbes McCann empire.
Now that I can’t do stand up in pubs for 10-45 people, I’ve had to resort to making ‘hot and relevant online content’. Enjoy!
Update: Everybody is banned from this show, because the whole Melbourne International Comedy Festival has been cancelled.
Covid-19 (AKA the Corona Virus) is approaching catastrophic levels worldwide. In response to the crisis, I have taken a difficult, but bold and necessary step.
It is with sadness and regret that I have decided to ban old people (50+) from coming to my show at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
The Corona Virus (AKA Covid-19) is impacting us all, but mostly it is impacting the elderly. They face a far higher mortality rate from the disease, and must be protected from infection where possible.
Old people: I will not have your blood on my hands. I don’t want you coming to my show and getting infected with this virus.
This decision comes at a great personal cost. The elderly are one of the biggest audiences for my stand up comedy.
I anticipate that many people aged 50+ will be disappointed with my decision. Some may even try to lie about their age to see my show. To stop this from happening, we will also be turning ticket holders away who are:
- Unable to identify Post Malone
- Unable to perform basic tasks on a phone, like adjusting the brightness
- Paying for their own Netflix account
- Women: wearing with bright loose clothes (probably purple) and ostentatious glasses, and a beaded necklace, and drinking white wine.
- Men: wearing a polo shirt, tucked into their shorts, with New Balance sneakers on.
Some old people use botox technology to make themselves look less old. All persons suspected of being secretly old will be required to raise their eyebrows before entering the venue. Persons unable to raise their eyebrows will be turned away.
My greatest fear in taking these measures is that I will be accused of ageism. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I love the elderly. I'm not some angry Millennial, with grievances about climate change, negative gearing, having to pay for university, a terrible jobs market, systematic dismantling of welfare, gaming the tax system, and so on.
I love the Baby Boomer generation. They've contributed so much to our civilization, like:
1) The music of The Beatles
And a great many other things, too.
I hope that by banning old people from my show, we can preserve them for years to come.
For people who are under fifty years of age, tickets are still on sale.
Update, again: No! They aren’t! It’s over!
Best,
James Donald Forbes McCann
I’m coming home to Adelaide to perform the award winning Devil’s Advocate.
Tickets on sale here.
Also, behold the following lists, in which I feature in prominently, having written them: